Sunday, May 30, 2010

Things are getting strange. I woke up at five til six pm today... Yesterday it was nearly four pm, the day before that nearly three, and the day before that it was 1:55pm.... Why am I sleeping so damn late now? I'm sleeping my entire daytimes away!

I went to bed this morning, approximately 1:07am, at 114.8 pounds due to my own familiar folly. I woke up, 6pm, at 112.4 pounds. I haven't weighed myself in the last thirty-four minutes, but I went outside into the raging heat and probably sweated myself down some... I'll check real fast... Same.

I need to put some really serious thought into fasting again. I've given myself too much leeway, when I thought I was giving myself just enough to get by.

I don't know if I mentioned this, but I took the telltale tea last night, two cups, two separate tea bags. And when I weighed in at 114.8 I had just finished drinking them, so had about 16oz of water in my stomach when I stepped on the scale. Not the smartest way to weigh myself I know.

I made a chart the other day, about projected weight loss if I keep fucking up. Here it is, hopefully it is somewhat accurate:

May 30th = 111.8
May 31st = 112.0 to 110.8
June 1st = 109.6
June 2nd = 110.0 to 109.4
June 3rd = 108.0
June 4th = 108.8 to 108.0
June 5th = 107.0
June 6th = 108.0 to 107.2
June 7th = 106.0
June 8th = 105.0

Conversely, if I fast and lose weight for every one of those ten days (ten days until the 8th when my summer class starts), this is what it might look like:

May 30th = 111.8
May 31st = 110.8
June 1st = 109.8
June 2nd = 108.8
June 3rd = 107.8
June 4th = 106.8
June 5th = 105.8
June 6th = 104.8
June 7th = 103.8
June 8th = 102.8

I could either be 105.0 pounds and have a BMI of 18.6 or I could be 102.8 pounds and have a BMI of 18.2... not that big of a difference, but the difference in my physicality and physical size will be enormous because on of these methods has me eating and failing, thus keeping a certain appearance and non-invisibility, while the other has me fasting constantly and thus sort of disappearing much faster. And that's what I want. I want to disappear. I will try to fast for the next ten days.

Wish me luck,

-Run With Me

p.s. 112.4 pounds